countlessuntruths: Text on blue background with a small rainbow and a cartoon lion (Quotes - Out of the loset)
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Title: Not Fairy Love.
Fandom: My Own Private Idaho.
Warnings: Internalized homophobia, denial.
Characters/couples: Scott/Mike.
Summary: Scott does love Mike. But it's not fairy love.
Rating: PG 13.
Notes: I really like how this one came out when [profile] thejennabides requested 'Why does Scott love Mike', so I expanded it a bit and here it is.

Not Fairy Love.

Yeah, sure, Scott does love Michael, but it’s not like that, okay? First of all, he doesn't love him-love him. Like, fairy-love and all. It's important to understand the difference, okay? Because Scott loves Mikey, but he doesn't love Mikey, you know what I mean? Because, sure, Mike's his friend, his best buddy in the whole shitting fucking world. It's them against the world, like... like, like some of those Greek dudes, like one of the ‘-eos’, only not with the whole sex deal. It's better like that, anyway.

Why? Isn’t it obvious? Well, sex, sex would chain them. And Mikey's free, y'know? Oh, sure, Mike doesn't really know this, but Scott does because he’s not as fucked up as Mike is. Maybe because of his narcolepsy or maybe it's just another one of those weird Mike-things, but when he sees Mike or when he holds him after the fucker has fallen asleep again, Scott almost feels as if he’s flying, too, but, y'know, sans wings. Or, well, with wings that are not sparkly. And that's not drug-talk, either. He really enjoys holding Mike, too. Like, the world's not so cold or something cheesy and corny that.

There’s how Mike's so fucking pretty that it's unfair, because it's not as if they could fool around or anything. Scott wouldn't do that, not to Mike, ‘cause Mike’s his buddy, the one person he does care besides his parents opinion, so he won’t mess that up, making Mike think that he’s queer, too.

He likes the way Mike makes him feel useful, as if anything he does or says is great. He can live to all and any expectation Mike has for him, because he knows that as long as he stays with Mikey to laugh and share joints and ride the bike together, Mike'll be happy. Completely, abso-fucking-lutely happy.

... and then that'll make Mike smile. Like, his real smile, not the silly one he sometimes get when stonned or trying to flirt. No, the good smile that gets his eyes shinning, the one that makes Mikey look as if he was a kid and makes Scott wish he could hold him and keep him away from johns and drugs and hits, and, y'know, everything harmful, and then share a sandwich and run of the streets because kids are immortal, and Mike deserves immortality.

He would've liked being a kid with Mikey.

And, ohfuck, there's his eyes. Mike's eyes are also kind of childish, y'know? Not like wide-and-freaky or something like that, but just like... even being a whore and having sex and drugs and all that, Mike's eyes sometimes are so... trusting. If he sees you, fuck, you're a better man. You don't have to do anything (see? That expectation thing? Best fucking kick he has ever had) but it's like, fuck. Scott never gets enough of that. He never tells him, of course, but he likes when Scott looks at him even when he doesn’t like it, ‘cause, dude, sometimes it seems as if Mike would sort of be a dog. Not in a bad sense, not as if he was gonna be someone’s bitch ‘cause Scott would fucking kill anyone who messed up with him like that, just, y’know. So damn trusting.

But, yeah, yeah. Scott does love Mikey, completely, abso-mind-fucking-lutely.

But, it's just best-buddy-love, okay? Just that.

January 2013

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