No Me Ames. (Lost, Sayid/Shannon.)
Feb. 4th, 2012 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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fictionaluntruthsTitle: Track 2: No Me Ames (Don't Love Me.)
Fandom: LOST.
Warnings: Spoilers for season 1.
Characters/couples: Shannon, Shannon/Sayid, mentions of Boone.
Summary: Shannon wonders. About Sayid, about Boone; about life, about death... and hope.
Rating: PG.
Track 2: No Me Ames (Don't Love Me.)
No me names para estar muriendo dentro de una guerra llena
de arrepentimientos.
***
Don’t love me to be dying in this war full of regrets.
Shannon is used to being alone, but just because she is, it doesn’t mean that she has to like it. She had learned, after the first few months, that she wouldn’t be able to stop feeling lonely no matter what –or who– she did, but at least, when you’re laughing and being the center of attention, it’s easier to pretend you are not.
Sitting on the dirty floor of a cave full of scared-out-of-their-minds survivors while babysitting a dog is not exactly the best way to stop feeling alone. Especially when you’re being pushed away. She knows the feeling. It was the same when her father died: people watching her, whispering behind her back, pitying the poor blonde rich girl. Just like then no one cared to know that yes, she was a blonde rich girl but said blonde rich girl also enjoyed, more than anything else, curling by her father side whenever he came back from a trip and had time to just talk about their little news, no one knows now that she was partially responsible of Boone’s death because she had toyed with him, and no one knew that Boone had liked the Backstreet Boys even more than she had.
Shannon wonders if she’ll also have to say that about Sayid. She feels a tightness over her chest at that, and tries to remember every little detail she knows about Sayid which isn’t much, really, but there has to be something more than just the way his breath feels behind her neck.
She wonders if she’ll have to say goodbye again, if now she’s also going to lose Sayid. She tries not to hope, tries to distract herself with Vincent, or going for water or watching her nails, trying to seriously worry about the fact that they’re broken from all the time in which she hasn’t tended to them and also for helping to push the boat to the water but can’t really care about it.
Shannon is scared, and alone, and no one thinks she has the right to be it. Now that Boone is dead she gets a small sympathy but it won’t last. It never does. It was the same when her father died, it will be the same now that Boone is dead… and she stops there. Shannon doesn’t want to think that Sayid might be also gone while they are still fighting so she stops right there, standing up, and holding unto Vincent’s leash.
When coming back from the short walk, there are laughs and clapping, and she sees Charlie’s hair of sandy brown hair and Claire is beaming so they were successful in coming back. Shannon looks up, sore throat, until she notices Sayid right by the waterfall and he also sees her looking at him and it might be a circle but she doesn’t mind, doesn’t care.
It doesn’t really matter if they have made up or not. He’s there, he’s alive and he came back. That’s all that matters to Shannon as she hugs him tightly, holding unto that small piece of everything.
Fandom: LOST.
Warnings: Spoilers for season 1.
Characters/couples: Shannon, Shannon/Sayid, mentions of Boone.
Summary: Shannon wonders. About Sayid, about Boone; about life, about death... and hope.
Rating: PG.
Track 2: No Me Ames (Don't Love Me.)
No me names para estar muriendo dentro de una guerra llena
de arrepentimientos.
***
Don’t love me to be dying in this war full of regrets.
Shannon is used to being alone, but just because she is, it doesn’t mean that she has to like it. She had learned, after the first few months, that she wouldn’t be able to stop feeling lonely no matter what –or who– she did, but at least, when you’re laughing and being the center of attention, it’s easier to pretend you are not.
Sitting on the dirty floor of a cave full of scared-out-of-their-minds survivors while babysitting a dog is not exactly the best way to stop feeling alone. Especially when you’re being pushed away. She knows the feeling. It was the same when her father died: people watching her, whispering behind her back, pitying the poor blonde rich girl. Just like then no one cared to know that yes, she was a blonde rich girl but said blonde rich girl also enjoyed, more than anything else, curling by her father side whenever he came back from a trip and had time to just talk about their little news, no one knows now that she was partially responsible of Boone’s death because she had toyed with him, and no one knew that Boone had liked the Backstreet Boys even more than she had.
Shannon wonders if she’ll also have to say that about Sayid. She feels a tightness over her chest at that, and tries to remember every little detail she knows about Sayid which isn’t much, really, but there has to be something more than just the way his breath feels behind her neck.
She wonders if she’ll have to say goodbye again, if now she’s also going to lose Sayid. She tries not to hope, tries to distract herself with Vincent, or going for water or watching her nails, trying to seriously worry about the fact that they’re broken from all the time in which she hasn’t tended to them and also for helping to push the boat to the water but can’t really care about it.
Shannon is scared, and alone, and no one thinks she has the right to be it. Now that Boone is dead she gets a small sympathy but it won’t last. It never does. It was the same when her father died, it will be the same now that Boone is dead… and she stops there. Shannon doesn’t want to think that Sayid might be also gone while they are still fighting so she stops right there, standing up, and holding unto Vincent’s leash.
When coming back from the short walk, there are laughs and clapping, and she sees Charlie’s hair of sandy brown hair and Claire is beaming so they were successful in coming back. Shannon looks up, sore throat, until she notices Sayid right by the waterfall and he also sees her looking at him and it might be a circle but she doesn’t mind, doesn’t care.
It doesn’t really matter if they have made up or not. He’s there, he’s alive and he came back. That’s all that matters to Shannon as she hugs him tightly, holding unto that small piece of everything.