Just a Pleasant Interruption (D.Gray-man, Lavi/Allen)

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

Title: Just a Pleasant Interruption.
Fandom: D.Gray-man.
Warnings: Possibly some spoilers for recent chapters.
Characters/couples: Lavi/Allen.
Summary: There are perfectly logical reasons why it still counted as something not important. Or so says Lavi.
Rating: PG13/R.
Notes: Written for springkink: D.Gray-man, Lavi/Allen: casual sex that isn't - if he tells himself it doesn't mean anything...

Just a Pleasant Interruption.
and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me
'Konstantine', Something Corporate

First time it was actually he who started it. It was after a lost battle in Prussia: the body of the woman who had been the conformer had been destroyed by the time they were able to stop the akuma 4, blood dripping from her chest and mouth.

And later, Allen had been... well, not him. He had been closed eyed and serious, looking so damn alone: when Lavi had gone to try and cheer him up, Allen had given polite answers, a polite smile and a polite disposition despite how his eyes, a completely distant Allen who was, almost, not looking at him. Lavi had tried jokes, he had tried teasing him and all that he had managed was a more withdrawn Allen despite the way he kept smiling. Finally, Lavi had kissed Allen to get a reaction, for Allen to startle away and yell at him, push him away, something that would bring him back from wherever it was that he hid after lost battles and broken bodies were found.

He hadn't expected Allen to shiver as if he had poured cold water on him and then kiss back, acting so hungry for that kiss, for that touch. He had been too skilled, his mouth soft and smooth, half clinging to him, making him shiver too. Allen had taken Lavi's tongue into his mouth and suckled it softly despite the way his hands were clinging to his shoulders, making him hard almost embarrassingly fast, and they had kept on touching until Allen had muttered that he had to go before Link started searching for him.

Second time, Miranda had been injured during their mission. No-one had realized that it had been his fault, but Lavi had stopped because he had felt something different with his Innocence. He was unsure about what it was but it had brought Bookman's words to mind and he had doubted.

It had been just a second, but it had been enough: the explosion had hit close to Miranda. Not only had her invocation been broken – and thus they all got back their injuries – but she had almost died. Even the fact that they had managed to recover the Innocence didn't change that fact.

So later, once they were told that she was going to survive, he had gone to the library, trying to hide without it being obvious he was doing so. He was wondering if he was going to fall, if his Innocence would decide that the way he fought wasn't committed enough for her, and Lavi had been angry and scared, furious with himself for doubting his path, knowing which was the road he had chosen, angry that he was doubting himself again.

Allen had found him there, and this time the sad eyes had been for him. Lavi had tried to make a joke again, something, anything to stop Allen from looking at him like that, but Allen had just leaned forward, hands on his face, and kissed him.

And then it was as desperate as the other time, only that it was Lavi the one who was drowning, the one who couldn't get enough, even if he kept telling himself it was nothing, just a distraction, that it meant nothing when Allen murmured his name against his lips, or when his hands touched his skin.

There hadn't been a third time yet. The fact that Lavi kept thinking about it with a yet intersected wasn't good at all, and as good as he was in fooling everyone else most of the time, it did shit when it was about fooling yourself.

Did it still count if he kept on telling himself that it was nothing and that it didn't meant anything after all?

Comments

[sailormac.livejournal.com]

VERY nice. Poor Lavi, it's pretty obvious that he's deluding himself on several fronts here, that he's chosen to remain an Exorcist and stay by Allen's side, even though he's denying it (and even his Innocence seems to have picked up on that). Love the imagery of them clinging to each other to keep from drowning.

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

Lavi is.... yeah. He hasn't quite come to terms to what he should do, but I do believe his Innocence will, in the end, make him realize what he should do.

Thanks for reading!

[emudii.livejournal.com]

I really like the natural progression of things, here. It's so factual and stunningly obvious, and yet, in the aftermath, so terribly confusing. The fact that things just happen. The fact that sometimes things happen for a reason, even if you don't know what it is until later. Lavi is a man who likes to know everything and to be comfortable knowing that he has a handle on all of it, but handling Allen in this sort of way... he doesn't know and he's not in control. Must be frightening. Thrilling, but scaring the hell out of him.

I love your work. Thanks for sharing. ♥

[allira-dream.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for reading. And yes. Lavi certainly dislikes being uncertain, and... yes, scaring the hell out of him is a good description for it.